I'll admit I wasn't looking forward to Christmas at all this year. I thought it would be a tough one with the divorce and the passing of my Grandpa. I didn't put up our tree, no outside lights, no sending of the Christmas cards ...nothing. Instead I bought this silly little 2ft thing that half looked like a bush. It was a little package deal that came with a strand of lights and 12 funky looking little wooden ornaments. Took us about a week after I bought it to even decorate it with that. It wasn't until last weekend when I went to Zoolights that I had any desire to get into the holiday spirit. The lights, the carols, the family's spending time together...
Thats my favorite thing about Christmas. Spending time with all of my family. Laughing, joking, cooking, eating, and occasionally punching one of my brothers lol! I don't need presents. I just want to spend good quality time with family. I'm very close with my Grandma and Mom and Dad but really only see my brothers on the holidays. I treasure the time we share together. Its alway s blast.
Our Christmas started out last night with the traditional baking of the cookies for Santa. Ashly, Nate and I made about 3 dozen. Guess they think Santa needs to gain a little more weight. About 11 I decided I couldn't stay up any longer and wait for them to go to bed before I put the Santa presents out. I sent them to their rooms and told them not to go out snooping. Yeah right lol!
We got up early this morning and had our little opening of the presents. We didn't have much because we had agreed we would do just one gift for each person. It was perfect. More thought went into what that one gift would be instead of getting a bunch of stuff no one will use.
We headed over to Mom's about 11. Oh how I love walking into the house and smelling all that food cooking. Yummy! What a feast! There was 15 of us there this year. Smaller group then usual but plenty of tummy's to fill. After all the food is gone and dishes are done, Mom does just a few presents she picked up here and there. We really don't have any small children to do presents for now and with the amount of people we have there for Christmas we would go broke trying to buy for everyone. My family has a new tradition that we have done the last 4-5 years. Someone gets "picked on" for Christmas. Around Thanksgiving we figure out who we want to "pick on". Last year it was my Mom. She had seen a gold Xmas tree in a store and wanted to do one of hers in all gold. Everyone that was there last year brought her a present that had some type of gold ornament or decoration that she could put on her tree. The gifts she got last year sure did look beautiful on her tree this year. It's something she will treasure for years to come. Each one of her kids, grandkids, and other family members have something on her tree.
Guess who the decided to "pick on" this year? Me. I had no idea because they told me it was going to be someone else. I was very surprised. Bet you can't guess what the theme was for my gifts...pink stuff! If you know me, you know I have this slight obsession for pink things and anything with a pink ribbon on it. Well I got all sorts of cool pink stuff. Candles, perfume, lotions, hats, scarfs, a robe, pillows, a pink chair...heck to much to list. I even got a pink can opener and some pink rubbermaid food storage containers. It was so much fun opening all the presents. I'm not big on getting a bunch of gifts but this was really something special for me. Really made what I had thought would be a pretty crappy Christmas turn in to one that I will never forget.
I hope Santa was as good to you all as he was to me. Merry Christmas everyone!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
Thought this day would never come...
I'm DIVORCED!!!!!!!
I came home tonight to find the self addressed, stamped envelope that I had to provide along with all the final paperwork to the courts a week and a half ago, sitting on the coffee table. My heart stopped. I dropped everything in the middle of the floor. Wait...I thought it was going to be 4-6 weeks, she said 4-6 weeks, and that is if I didn't make any mistakes??? Remember, I did all the paperwork and filing all by myself, no help from a attorney or anyone else for that matter. She said I would receive a letter stating any mistakes I made not the envelope. Crap, what could I have missed? I rip open the envelope and pull out the papers. By now I'm shaking so bad I could hardly flip through the papers. I see signatures and dates where there weren't any before... Could this be it?!?!? Is it done?!?!?
I looked through all the papers over and over, this can't be right, she said 4-6 weeks, its only been 11 days and that includes the weekends "Is this it? Is this it" I'm asking the kids...like they know. It's got to be! See the signatures? This IS it! ITS DONE!!!!! I'm running through the house jumping up and down with papers in hand trying to find the phone to call my Mom. No one answers. I try my Dads cell, go figure no answer there either. I know they are out to dinner with my brother celebrating his birthday so I call his cell. Finally get to talk to my Mom. I'm crying by now, (happy tears) I just can't believe this day is finally here.
I have been through Hell and back over the last 21 years. Not all of it was bad but it took so much out of me and so much away from me I only wish I would have had the guts to have done this sooner. I'm a much happier person now. So are the kids.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Ok so I still haven't got this blogging thing down yet but I was reading the post I did back in September, " Realizations" and it made me stop and think how much things have changed for me in such a short time. I'm truly a much happier person and my thoughts have changed on a lot of things so I decided to do it again just to see what my answers to these questions are today.
Realizations
- could be bigger but I'm OK with them. LOL!I've come to realize that my boobs..*today* they haven't grown any in the last 2 months and I'm still ok with them lol
- I've come to realize that my job...
- is more and more demanding everyday.
*today* needs to help me transfer out of that building and QUICK!
3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving....
there may be a reason I'm behind that slow driver.
*today* I have places to go, things to do, and people to see
4. I've come to realize that I need...- to find myself
*today* I need to get out more
5. I've come to realize that my heart...
is in the right spot.- *today* it's still in the right spot
6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...
I have to be the middleman. - *today*I have to deal with the soon to be EX for any reason!
7. I've come to realize that when I'm drunk...
I like to play games like Mad Gab with great friends in Vegas. - *today* ha ha ha get me drunk and find out.
8. I've come to realize that money...
doesn't make you happy.
*today* is nice but still doesn't make you happy
9. I've come to realize that certain people...
will never grow up- *today*
10. I've come to realize that I'll never be...
perfect and thats OK, I don't want to be!
** I still don't want to be perfect and thats ok by me. I am who I am.
11. I've come to realize drugs....
are such a waste- *today*same answer
12. I've come to realize that my boyfriend...
hmmmm don't have one - *today* welllll...I'll have to get back to you on that one in a few months
13. I've come to realize that my cell phone ...
is my lifeline- *today* has a VERY good battery LOL!
14. I've come to realize when i woke up this morning....
I need more sleep.
*today* I should have gotten up eariler
15. I've come to realize that last night before i went to sleep...
I have SO much going on I can't handle much more...- *today* I was smiling when I snuggled in to my blankies
16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about...
that same sh*t...
*today* lots of good things
17. I've come to realize that when I get on Myspace...
I hope to see all of my friends still here.- *today* Will there be a message or comment???
18. I've come to realize that yesterday...
was rough but I got thru it - ** so much fun baking with my girlfriends ALL day!
19. I've come to realize that today ...
was ok
**was an incredibly amazing day!!!!!
20. I've come to realize that tonight...
didn't go as bad as I thought it would- **was quiet
21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will...
start it all over again with a smile
**be stuck at work all day...bummer
22. I've come to realize that I really want to...
be happy and just be me- **enjoy life everyday
24. I've come to realize that i love...
LIFE...minus the crap I'm having to deal with right now
** being FREE to do what I want, when I want
25. I've come to realize that this weekend...
should be fun...yard sale to benefit The 3-Day and might go jet skiing with my brothers FUN!
** has truly been the best one in a VERY long time!
26. I've realized the best music to listen to when i am upset ...
Avenue Q soundtrack....track # 13
**still blast it when I'm pissed
27. I've come to realize that some friends...
will always be there for me
**will stay by your side and support you no matter what.- 28. I've come to realize that this year...
- has been challenging, stressful, crazy, sad, and full of change, but the year isn't over...I'm expecting happiness, growth, strength and serenity,
**is almost over and I'm very much looking forward to 2009 and a fresh start!
29. I've come to realize that my next tattoo will be...
my only tattoo will be a pink ribbon above my ankle..
** same and I'm going to do it real soon
30. I've come to realize that my family..
is absolutely incredible!!!!- ** and very supportive and understanding
Sorry about all the stupid numbers but to sleepy to worry with them!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
It's chilly and raining today!!! Woo hoo... Its been a long time since we've had rain so it's quite a nice change. Add the fact that I actually got off at a decent time I was able to enjoy it...makes for something to celebrate. Should go curl up and watch a movie but I'd just fall asleep so I thought I'd write a bit instead.
Things have been settling down a bit. I think I'm on the uphill road to peace and sanity. HA! 5 months ago I didn't even know those things existed. I'm happy...get a little lonely sometimes but I'm happy.
The 60 day "cooling off" period for the divorce ends 12-6...you can bet my ass will be at the courthouse on Monday the 8th to file the next blob of paperwork. I'll tell ya, doing this without an atty is tough but I'm getting it done. (and saving a hell of a lot of money) Hell, maybe I'll take on preparing divorce papers as a second job and make a few extra bucks lol.
Nate seems to be doing somewhat better these days. He still has the really bad headaches but they don't seem to be happening so often and the daily ones are much more tolerable. Hopefully the meds are working well enough and we can rule out surgery. I'll keep you updated, going back to the neurosurgeon on Dec 2nd.
It's Thanksgiving... I'm looking forward to spending the day at Moms...cooking and hanging out with my family. I, again have so much to be thankful for this year...my family, friends, health, house, job, the list goes on and on. I'd go into some detail but I'm not planning on getting all teary eyed tonight.
It's late, I'm sleepy, and if I don't post this now you might not see it till Christmas. I wish you all a very safe and Happy Thanksgiving.
Love and hugs to all,
~Terri~
Things have been settling down a bit. I think I'm on the uphill road to peace and sanity. HA! 5 months ago I didn't even know those things existed. I'm happy...get a little lonely sometimes but I'm happy.
The 60 day "cooling off" period for the divorce ends 12-6...you can bet my ass will be at the courthouse on Monday the 8th to file the next blob of paperwork. I'll tell ya, doing this without an atty is tough but I'm getting it done. (and saving a hell of a lot of money) Hell, maybe I'll take on preparing divorce papers as a second job and make a few extra bucks lol.
Nate seems to be doing somewhat better these days. He still has the really bad headaches but they don't seem to be happening so often and the daily ones are much more tolerable. Hopefully the meds are working well enough and we can rule out surgery. I'll keep you updated, going back to the neurosurgeon on Dec 2nd.
It's Thanksgiving... I'm looking forward to spending the day at Moms...cooking and hanging out with my family. I, again have so much to be thankful for this year...my family, friends, health, house, job, the list goes on and on. I'd go into some detail but I'm not planning on getting all teary eyed tonight.
It's late, I'm sleepy, and if I don't post this now you might not see it till Christmas. I wish you all a very safe and Happy Thanksgiving.
Love and hugs to all,
~Terri~
Sunday, November 23, 2008
I'm happy to say I had another GREAT experience walking in the Breast Cancer 3-Day here in AZ last weekend. All 60 miles walked and not one blister!!! Did mess up my knee a bit but nothing that won't heal.
Thought I would give you a quick run down on the event.
Day 1… It all began on Friday morning with Opening ceremonies out at Freestone Park in Gilbert. Even thou it was very early and pretty darn cold out there, everyone was super pumped up and ready to walk! We walked through the Islands of Gilbert and down the city streets. The community welcomed us with open arms, including school children that stuck there little hands out through the playground fence to give us "high fives" and tell us to "keep walkin" and "your doing great". After a long day of walking, we made it to "camp" which was at Benedict Park in Tempe. A nice hot shower, (in a mobile shower truck) and a yummy spaghetti dinner were waiting there for us. We stopped at the "Camp Post Office" and picked up our cards and letters from friends and family. Took them back to our pretty pink tent, crawled into a nice cozy sleeping bag and read our letters from home. Thank you to all who sent me a letter or a card. After reading the cards and getting all emotional AGAIN, we were ready to pass out for the night. Lights out 9pm.
Day 2…Saturday morning started bright and early. Up at 4:15, had a huge breakfast, and was ready to walk when the route opened at 7am. We walked through the community of Guadalupe, the foothills of Ahwatukee, South Mountain Park and other parts of Phoenix. There were several "cheering stations" along the route to keep our spirits up. It is amazing to see all the people who come out to cheer us on. Family that has made signs to show their support, people dressed up in silly outfits, seeing the same car driving by who knows how many times during the day just honking, and waving and Walker Stalkers who just seem to be there every time you turn around. We worked our way back to Tempe and Benedict Park to our pretty little pink tents we call home for the weekend. Had a great dinner and enjoyed some of the entertainment. We spent the rest of the evening roaming the camp. They have a few tents set up so you can shop for 3-day stuff, get a foot massage, send post cards from camp, play bingo, and sign up for next year…which I did so be prepared, I'm already to do it again!!!! They also had a web cam set up which was really cool. I didn't even know about it till Nate called and told me. No voice but he could see me there. Pretty neat! I'll have to remember that for next year. Enjoyed the last of the evening taking goofy pictures of my toe socks and sharing some great laughs with my old and new friends. Lights out early again. (thank goodness!!)
Day 3…Sunday starts out early and bittersweet. Your so excited to make it thru the day and be able to say "I did it" but sad because the 3-Day is coming to an end. That's when you tell yourself, the 3-Day may be over but my fight in finding the cure is not! I will not stop till a cure is found! So finish this walk and get started on next year.
Our route Sunday took us through Arizona State University, Papago Park, Desert Botanical Garden, and Old Town Scottsdale. Absolutely beautiful to walk thru all of those places. The weather was perfect for us! About 84. So many people came out again to the cheering stations to cheer us on during our final miles. The day seemed to go by so quickly. Bobbye and I got to holding at about 1:45. Our families were there waiting to watch us walk over the finish line into the holding area. The holding area is where we all hang out and wait for everyone to complete the route then line up for our victory walk into the closing ceremony. The final victory walk took us into Scottsdale Stadium where thousands of people were there to welcome us. Closing ceremony was very powerful and emotional as expected. Doubt there was I dry eye in the house, I know I went thru my share of tissues. I truly can not find the right words to describe what an amazing sight it is to watch over 2100 people walking together into this huge stadium and the incredibly overwhelming emotion that hits you when all survivors walk thru and the walkers and crew all hold up one of their shoes in honor of them. Ugh…pass the tissues again. It's something so powerful it will stay with you forever. If you ever have the opportunity to witness any part of the 3-Day, I hope you will.
Ok so this turned out a bit longer then I expected but oh well. I have just more think I'd like to add… I'd like to thank all my friends and family for the incredible amount of support that you all have given me. Whether it was through a monetary donation, purchasing shirts or cookbooks or just telling me how much you support me, I could not have done it without all of you! Your support thru this all means so much to me. Special thanks to Ashly, Nate, Bekah,and my Mommy and Daddy. Thank you guys for being at every one of the cheering stations to support not only me, but my fellow team members and all of the other walkers. We needed you there to cheer us on and you did! I also want to send an extra special thank you to my wonderful kids Ashly and Nate. You two are truly the worlds best!!! Thank you for all you have done to support me. Everything from your positive attitudes, dealing with my obsession for pink thing that are all over the house, telling me I better get out there and walk, and best of all…surprising me by decorating my car windows and filling the inside with all the pink balloons and streamers while I was at dinner. That right there was one of the best memories I will have this year. Oh but, if you guys ever decide to move my car and make me think some one stole it…you will be grounded till your 30!!!!! I love you two so much!!!!! Thanks again for being there for me!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Realizations
- could be bigger but I'm OK with them. LOL!I've come to realize that my boobs..
- I've come to realize that my job...
- is more and more demanding everyday.
3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving....
there may be a reason I'm behind that slow driver.
4. I've come to realize that I need...
to find myself
5. I've come to realize that my heart...
is in the right spot.
6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...
I have to be the middleman.
7. I've come to realize that when I'm drunk...
I like to play games like Mad Gab with great friends in Vegas.
8. I've come to realize that money...
doesn't make you happy.
9. I've come to realize that certain people...
will never grow up
10. I've come to realize that I'll never be...
perfect and thats OK, I don't want to be!
11. I've come to realize drugs....
are such a waste
12. I've come to realize that my boyfriend...
hmmmm don't have one
13. I've come to realize that my cell phone ...
is my lifeline
14. I've come to realize when i woke up this morning....
I need more sleep.
15. I've come to realize that last night before i went to sleep...
I have SO much going on I can't handle much more...
16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about...
that same sh*t...
17. I've come to realize that when I get on Myspace...
I hope to see all of my friends still here.
18. I've come to realize that yesterday...
was rough but I got thru it
19. I've come to realize that today ...
was ok
20. I've come to realize that tonight...
didn't go as bad as I thought it would
21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will...
start it all over again with a smile
22. I've come to realize that I really want to...
be happy and just be me
23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this...
who knows
24. I've come to realize that i love...
LIFE...minus the crap I'm having to deal with right now
25. I've come to realize that this weekend...
should be fun...yard sale to benefit The 3-Day and might go jet skiing with my brothers FUN!
26. I've realized the best music to listen to when i am upset ...
Avenue Q soundtrack....track # 13
27. I've come to realize that some friends...
will always be there for me
28. I've come to realize that this year...
has been challenging, stressful, crazy, sad, and full of change, but the year isn't over...I'm expecting happiness, growth, strength and serenity,
29. I've come to realize that my next tattoo will be...
my only tattoo will be a pink ribbon above my ankle..
30. I've come to realize that my family..
is absolutely incredible!!!!
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