I'll admit I wasn't looking forward to Christmas at all this year. I thought it would be a tough one with the divorce and the passing of my Grandpa. I didn't put up our tree, no outside lights, no sending of the Christmas cards ...nothing. Instead I bought this silly little 2ft thing that half looked like a bush. It was a little package deal that came with a strand of lights and 12 funky looking little wooden ornaments. Took us about a week after I bought it to even decorate it with that. It wasn't until last weekend when I went to Zoolights that I had any desire to get into the holiday spirit. The lights, the carols, the family's spending time together...
Thats my favorite thing about Christmas. Spending time with all of my family. Laughing, joking, cooking, eating, and occasionally punching one of my brothers lol! I don't need presents. I just want to spend good quality time with family. I'm very close with my Grandma and Mom and Dad but really only see my brothers on the holidays. I treasure the time we share together. Its alway s blast.
Our Christmas started out last night with the traditional baking of the cookies for Santa. Ashly, Nate and I made about 3 dozen. Guess they think Santa needs to gain a little more weight. About 11 I decided I couldn't stay up any longer and wait for them to go to bed before I put the Santa presents out. I sent them to their rooms and told them not to go out snooping. Yeah right lol!
We got up early this morning and had our little opening of the presents. We didn't have much because we had agreed we would do just one gift for each person. It was perfect. More thought went into what that one gift would be instead of getting a bunch of stuff no one will use.
We headed over to Mom's about 11. Oh how I love walking into the house and smelling all that food cooking. Yummy! What a feast! There was 15 of us there this year. Smaller group then usual but plenty of tummy's to fill. After all the food is gone and dishes are done, Mom does just a few presents she picked up here and there. We really don't have any small children to do presents for now and with the amount of people we have there for Christmas we would go broke trying to buy for everyone. My family has a new tradition that we have done the last 4-5 years. Someone gets "picked on" for Christmas. Around Thanksgiving we figure out who we want to "pick on". Last year it was my Mom. She had seen a gold Xmas tree in a store and wanted to do one of hers in all gold. Everyone that was there last year brought her a present that had some type of gold ornament or decoration that she could put on her tree. The gifts she got last year sure did look beautiful on her tree this year. It's something she will treasure for years to come. Each one of her kids, grandkids, and other family members have something on her tree.
Guess who the decided to "pick on" this year? Me. I had no idea because they told me it was going to be someone else. I was very surprised. Bet you can't guess what the theme was for my gifts...pink stuff! If you know me, you know I have this slight obsession for pink things and anything with a pink ribbon on it. Well I got all sorts of cool pink stuff. Candles, perfume, lotions, hats, scarfs, a robe, pillows, a pink chair...heck to much to list. I even got a pink can opener and some pink rubbermaid food storage containers. It was so much fun opening all the presents. I'm not big on getting a bunch of gifts but this was really something special for me. Really made what I had thought would be a pretty crappy Christmas turn in to one that I will never forget.
I hope Santa was as good to you all as he was to me. Merry Christmas everyone!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
Thought this day would never come...
I'm DIVORCED!!!!!!!
I came home tonight to find the self addressed, stamped envelope that I had to provide along with all the final paperwork to the courts a week and a half ago, sitting on the coffee table. My heart stopped. I dropped everything in the middle of the floor. Wait...I thought it was going to be 4-6 weeks, she said 4-6 weeks, and that is if I didn't make any mistakes??? Remember, I did all the paperwork and filing all by myself, no help from a attorney or anyone else for that matter. She said I would receive a letter stating any mistakes I made not the envelope. Crap, what could I have missed? I rip open the envelope and pull out the papers. By now I'm shaking so bad I could hardly flip through the papers. I see signatures and dates where there weren't any before... Could this be it?!?!? Is it done?!?!?
I looked through all the papers over and over, this can't be right, she said 4-6 weeks, its only been 11 days and that includes the weekends "Is this it? Is this it" I'm asking the kids...like they know. It's got to be! See the signatures? This IS it! ITS DONE!!!!! I'm running through the house jumping up and down with papers in hand trying to find the phone to call my Mom. No one answers. I try my Dads cell, go figure no answer there either. I know they are out to dinner with my brother celebrating his birthday so I call his cell. Finally get to talk to my Mom. I'm crying by now, (happy tears) I just can't believe this day is finally here.
I have been through Hell and back over the last 21 years. Not all of it was bad but it took so much out of me and so much away from me I only wish I would have had the guts to have done this sooner. I'm a much happier person now. So are the kids.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Ok so I still haven't got this blogging thing down yet but I was reading the post I did back in September, " Realizations" and it made me stop and think how much things have changed for me in such a short time. I'm truly a much happier person and my thoughts have changed on a lot of things so I decided to do it again just to see what my answers to these questions are today.
Realizations
- could be bigger but I'm OK with them. LOL!I've come to realize that my boobs..*today* they haven't grown any in the last 2 months and I'm still ok with them lol
- I've come to realize that my job...
- is more and more demanding everyday.
*today* needs to help me transfer out of that building and QUICK!
3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving....
there may be a reason I'm behind that slow driver.
*today* I have places to go, things to do, and people to see
4. I've come to realize that I need...- to find myself
*today* I need to get out more
5. I've come to realize that my heart...
is in the right spot.- *today* it's still in the right spot
6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...
I have to be the middleman. - *today*I have to deal with the soon to be EX for any reason!
7. I've come to realize that when I'm drunk...
I like to play games like Mad Gab with great friends in Vegas. - *today* ha ha ha get me drunk and find out.
8. I've come to realize that money...
doesn't make you happy.
*today* is nice but still doesn't make you happy
9. I've come to realize that certain people...
will never grow up- *today*
10. I've come to realize that I'll never be...
perfect and thats OK, I don't want to be!
** I still don't want to be perfect and thats ok by me. I am who I am.
11. I've come to realize drugs....
are such a waste- *today*same answer
12. I've come to realize that my boyfriend...
hmmmm don't have one - *today* welllll...I'll have to get back to you on that one in a few months
13. I've come to realize that my cell phone ...
is my lifeline- *today* has a VERY good battery LOL!
14. I've come to realize when i woke up this morning....
I need more sleep.
*today* I should have gotten up eariler
15. I've come to realize that last night before i went to sleep...
I have SO much going on I can't handle much more...- *today* I was smiling when I snuggled in to my blankies
16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about...
that same sh*t...
*today* lots of good things
17. I've come to realize that when I get on Myspace...
I hope to see all of my friends still here.- *today* Will there be a message or comment???
18. I've come to realize that yesterday...
was rough but I got thru it - ** so much fun baking with my girlfriends ALL day!
19. I've come to realize that today ...
was ok
**was an incredibly amazing day!!!!!
20. I've come to realize that tonight...
didn't go as bad as I thought it would- **was quiet
21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will...
start it all over again with a smile
**be stuck at work all day...bummer
22. I've come to realize that I really want to...
be happy and just be me- **enjoy life everyday
24. I've come to realize that i love...
LIFE...minus the crap I'm having to deal with right now
** being FREE to do what I want, when I want
25. I've come to realize that this weekend...
should be fun...yard sale to benefit The 3-Day and might go jet skiing with my brothers FUN!
** has truly been the best one in a VERY long time!
26. I've realized the best music to listen to when i am upset ...
Avenue Q soundtrack....track # 13
**still blast it when I'm pissed
27. I've come to realize that some friends...
will always be there for me
**will stay by your side and support you no matter what.- 28. I've come to realize that this year...
- has been challenging, stressful, crazy, sad, and full of change, but the year isn't over...I'm expecting happiness, growth, strength and serenity,
**is almost over and I'm very much looking forward to 2009 and a fresh start!
29. I've come to realize that my next tattoo will be...
my only tattoo will be a pink ribbon above my ankle..
** same and I'm going to do it real soon
30. I've come to realize that my family..
is absolutely incredible!!!!- ** and very supportive and understanding
Sorry about all the stupid numbers but to sleepy to worry with them!
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