Wow, how time flies. I can't believe its been a year now that I have been on my own. It's been a very challenging year but I think I've done pretty well. Think I've felt pretty much every emotion there is from anger to joy. I'm pleased to say that as I sit here today, a year later, I am living a happy, healthy, stress free life.
I can't get over the change in not only my life but in the kids to. The kids are so happy and have adjusted quite well. They still have a lot of "issues" they need to get through but I think with time they will be able to. I hope that one day they will be able to get past the fear and anger and open up the lines of communication with their father.
I'm doing GREAT. It's been a rough road but I know I chose the right path. I have never looked back and questioned the decisions I have made. It hasn't been easy but I'm doing it and doing pretty damn well I might add!
Life is good. I'm living every day to it's fullest. I'm happy and for the most part stress free. Life is to short and I intend to live it not just survive it!!!!!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Lovin Life!!!
Yes, I am LOVIN life!!! It's amazing what a little change can do to a person =-) Been a little challenging sometimes trying to find myself but I think I'm doing a pretty good job. Life is to short and I intend to live it to it's fullest!!!!!
So lets see...kids are doing great. Out of school for the summer. Both still working. Nate got a promotion at Sonic. My jobs going alright. Still don't understand why no one can figure out how to move a person to the opposite side of the room!!! UGH that pisses me off! Someone tends to get a bit nosey at times. Oh well, I can deal just shouldn't have to.
Training for the 3 day has begun. The kids and I are super excited to do this together this year. We are all a bit concerned that we won't be able to raise all of the money though. They upped the individual commitments to $2300 this year...that's $6900 for the three of us. Yikes!! No worries...we are bound and determined to walk, we will find a way to come up with the funds.
Still having a ton of issues with my neck and back. Think I've found a pretty good Dr though. He is a pain management and spine specialist. He's been very good at letting me know exactly what is going on and what the best treatment plan is for me. I've started going to physical therapy three times a week. Seen a little improvement from that. Got me an inversion table. LOVE that. Odd feeling though hanging your self upside down for 30mins a day but it helps! Anyway, I'm still in a lot of pain but I will heal!!! No worries.
I celebrated my 38th birthday this weekend. I do have to say it was one of the best I have had in years thanks to a very special friend. He had the most beautiful PINK flowers delivered to me at work on friday and then took me out that night. Funny...as I'm sitting here writing this, I think he was at my 8th birthday party. LOL !!! 30 years ago?!?!? Oh my. Gonna have to go through some more old pic's. I promise not to use them as blackmail...I already found the best one for that =-)
Dating....well hmmmm, I'm not really sure on this one. You may or may not know that I had never even been on a date till my divorce. Guess that's what happens when you get married at 16. Anyway, I've been out a few times and have had a lot of fun but it seems to always go in the same direction (I'm sure you know what I mean by that) I learned a VERY hard lesson in the beginning of my dating experience and WILL NOT make that mistake again! Maybe that's why I'm feeling so odd with this guy that I'm hangin out with now. I can't quite get a read on things. He is so unlike most and it is sooooo refreshing. We can talk and talk forever and it just feels right. I'm just gonna take it slow, sit back and enjoy his company ( which I so very much do!!!) and see what happens. If it turns into something, great...if not, I'm totally fine with that also. He is an absolutely GREAT person who can make me smile and laugh more then I can handle at times. (my boss thought I was up all night crying the other day... I was, but it was from laughing so much that I had been crying! ) I know I will have a true friend for life either way.
I think that's about all I have for now....
~Terri~
So lets see...kids are doing great. Out of school for the summer. Both still working. Nate got a promotion at Sonic. My jobs going alright. Still don't understand why no one can figure out how to move a person to the opposite side of the room!!! UGH that pisses me off! Someone tends to get a bit nosey at times. Oh well, I can deal just shouldn't have to.
Training for the 3 day has begun. The kids and I are super excited to do this together this year. We are all a bit concerned that we won't be able to raise all of the money though. They upped the individual commitments to $2300 this year...that's $6900 for the three of us. Yikes!! No worries...we are bound and determined to walk, we will find a way to come up with the funds.
Still having a ton of issues with my neck and back. Think I've found a pretty good Dr though. He is a pain management and spine specialist. He's been very good at letting me know exactly what is going on and what the best treatment plan is for me. I've started going to physical therapy three times a week. Seen a little improvement from that. Got me an inversion table. LOVE that. Odd feeling though hanging your self upside down for 30mins a day but it helps! Anyway, I'm still in a lot of pain but I will heal!!! No worries.
I celebrated my 38th birthday this weekend. I do have to say it was one of the best I have had in years thanks to a very special friend. He had the most beautiful PINK flowers delivered to me at work on friday and then took me out that night. Funny...as I'm sitting here writing this, I think he was at my 8th birthday party. LOL !!! 30 years ago?!?!? Oh my. Gonna have to go through some more old pic's. I promise not to use them as blackmail...I already found the best one for that =-)
Dating....well hmmmm, I'm not really sure on this one. You may or may not know that I had never even been on a date till my divorce. Guess that's what happens when you get married at 16. Anyway, I've been out a few times and have had a lot of fun but it seems to always go in the same direction (I'm sure you know what I mean by that) I learned a VERY hard lesson in the beginning of my dating experience and WILL NOT make that mistake again! Maybe that's why I'm feeling so odd with this guy that I'm hangin out with now. I can't quite get a read on things. He is so unlike most and it is sooooo refreshing. We can talk and talk forever and it just feels right. I'm just gonna take it slow, sit back and enjoy his company ( which I so very much do!!!) and see what happens. If it turns into something, great...if not, I'm totally fine with that also. He is an absolutely GREAT person who can make me smile and laugh more then I can handle at times. (my boss thought I was up all night crying the other day... I was, but it was from laughing so much that I had been crying! ) I know I will have a true friend for life either way.
I think that's about all I have for now....
~Terri~
Friday, May 1, 2009
Ha ha ha...I bailed out of work early today. I've done my time this week. It was time to get out and enjoy an afternoon for myself. And I did just that. Lucky for me, an old friend invited me out for a drink. Can't think of a better way to spend the afternoon. Good friend, good conversation...good times.
Have I mentioned lately how much I LOVE being single?? I love the freedom. I love not feeling guilty. I love not worrying. I love not having to walk on eggshells. I love not having to explain myself or my actions. I love being ME!
I still have a lot to deal with and overcome but I think I'm headed in the right direction. Life is good and I'm happy =-)
Kids are doing great! Nate hasn't had one of his head-aches in weeks. He's feelin great! Schools out for both of them here in just a few weeks. This year has sure gone by fast. Time to prepare for next year...they will both be Seniors. WOW time flies!
I've landed myself in the Dr's office four times in the past three weeks. I attempted pulling weeds and doing some major yard work a few weeks ago and messed up my back again. Nothing new lol. It hurts all the time anyway but I haven't been able to get any relief this go round. Thought I was going to end up making a visit to the ER the other day. Hurt so bad I was in tears. I haven't been in that much pain since childbirth...yeah it was that bad. Long story short, I'm seeing a pain management specialist now and will be going for an MRI soon to see what they find then might have to have some nerve testing done. Not looking forward to that. I don't want a bunch of needles stuck into my spine. OUCH!
Got lucky and have the weekend off. Wonder what I'll get myself into. For now, it's time to crawl in bed and catch up on some much needed sleep. Sweet dreams.
Have I mentioned lately how much I LOVE being single?? I love the freedom. I love not feeling guilty. I love not worrying. I love not having to walk on eggshells. I love not having to explain myself or my actions. I love being ME!
I still have a lot to deal with and overcome but I think I'm headed in the right direction. Life is good and I'm happy =-)
Kids are doing great! Nate hasn't had one of his head-aches in weeks. He's feelin great! Schools out for both of them here in just a few weeks. This year has sure gone by fast. Time to prepare for next year...they will both be Seniors. WOW time flies!
I've landed myself in the Dr's office four times in the past three weeks. I attempted pulling weeds and doing some major yard work a few weeks ago and messed up my back again. Nothing new lol. It hurts all the time anyway but I haven't been able to get any relief this go round. Thought I was going to end up making a visit to the ER the other day. Hurt so bad I was in tears. I haven't been in that much pain since childbirth...yeah it was that bad. Long story short, I'm seeing a pain management specialist now and will be going for an MRI soon to see what they find then might have to have some nerve testing done. Not looking forward to that. I don't want a bunch of needles stuck into my spine. OUCH!
Got lucky and have the weekend off. Wonder what I'll get myself into. For now, it's time to crawl in bed and catch up on some much needed sleep. Sweet dreams.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Blast from the past
Well its been quite a week. I took a few days off work mainly to spend the day (ha and day after) with Ashly as she celebrated her 21st birthday. We spent the entire day together running around and having fun. Lost a few bucks at the casino but it was worth it. Her friends took her out to dinner and clubbing afterward. She was delivered back home about 2am pretty "crunk" but safe . Thank you to the responsible DD of the evening! I'm pretty sure this was one of her best birthdays ever!
I've been blasted with the past this week taking a nice long walk down memory lane. Where I was 21 years ago, looking at old pictures and getting back in touch with old friends. Thanks to some of the "tools" out there, one of my long time friends was able to find me. I've felt so bad for not keeping in touch with her through the years. I think we've been friends since kindergarten. I tried numerous times to find her but no luck. I was crazy excited when I got a message from her. It's been at least 10 years. We have a lot of catching up to do.
It was really bothering me how I've lost touch with so many people. Especially some of my high school friends. I sorta disappeared rather quickly from high school. You see, 21 years ago, it wasn't so common and accepted to be 16 and pregnant. I dropped out the beginning of my Junior year without saying a word to anyone. I've often wondered how my friends were and where their life has taken them. Over the last year or so, I've been able to find a few of my old friends. Caught up a bit but never got to see them. I was doing a little more searching the other day and got back in touch with someone I've known since 4th grade and haven't seen in over 20 years. Shhh...don't tell but I had the biggest crush on him back in the day.
We caught up a bit through some messages. It was so nice to hear from him. Turns out he owns a business right down the street from me so we decided to meet up for lunch today. What a enjoyable time. It was so much fun throwing names out there to each other to see who we remembered and if either of us knew where they are now. It's good to know most of who we remembered are doing well. Next time I'm taking my yearbook so we can laugh at how funny we looked 20 years ago.
I've been blasted with the past this week taking a nice long walk down memory lane. Where I was 21 years ago, looking at old pictures and getting back in touch with old friends. Thanks to some of the "tools" out there, one of my long time friends was able to find me. I've felt so bad for not keeping in touch with her through the years. I think we've been friends since kindergarten. I tried numerous times to find her but no luck. I was crazy excited when I got a message from her. It's been at least 10 years. We have a lot of catching up to do.
It was really bothering me how I've lost touch with so many people. Especially some of my high school friends. I sorta disappeared rather quickly from high school. You see, 21 years ago, it wasn't so common and accepted to be 16 and pregnant. I dropped out the beginning of my Junior year without saying a word to anyone. I've often wondered how my friends were and where their life has taken them. Over the last year or so, I've been able to find a few of my old friends. Caught up a bit but never got to see them. I was doing a little more searching the other day and got back in touch with someone I've known since 4th grade and haven't seen in over 20 years. Shhh...don't tell but I had the biggest crush on him back in the day.
We caught up a bit through some messages. It was so nice to hear from him. Turns out he owns a business right down the street from me so we decided to meet up for lunch today. What a enjoyable time. It was so much fun throwing names out there to each other to see who we remembered and if either of us knew where they are now. It's good to know most of who we remembered are doing well. Next time I'm taking my yearbook so we can laugh at how funny we looked 20 years ago.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
So I had the day off
Got up this morning, drug...and I mean DRUG, my butt out of bed only to get to work and find out the system was down. Since I was there for overtime and there was really nothing I could do, I decided I would just take the day off. I guess it's a good thing... I think my body and mind need to relax more then I need the overtime. Seems to be harder and harder to get out of bed these days. Don't know why, can't sleep when I'm in it.
Thought I could use the day off to catch up on some housework and stuff but nope. I did nothing productive. Did what I HAD to do then nothing. Bummer cause I have a lot of stuff to catch up on. Can't seem to get motivated to do anything lately. Oh well...the laundry and dishes aren't going anywhere darn it.
Nate had a follow up appt. with the neurologist this afternoon. I'm not so sure I'm likin this guy. We thought since he was doing much better maybe he would decrease the amount of meds he has to take and eventually ween him off them altogether. Wrong. Instead he increased one of them. I don't really think that's necessary. I had Nate in to see our primary Dr last week and even he thought the doses were pretty high. The meds did work to get things under control but to increase it now just doesn't seem right. We'll try it for a month and see if there is any difference and go from there.
I found a new trail while doing the Climb. Can't wait to get out there again just need to find someone to go with me. It's so beautiful and peaceful up there. You can see for miles and miles.
Off to the orchestra concert now.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
I made it to the Top!
We did it!! Today was the Climb to Conquer Cancer walk. I had about 37 people on my team, Logan's Heroes, make it out for the 5 1/2 mile climb to the top of South Mountain. It was the perfect day to spend hiking the mountain for such a good cause. I am so grateful that so many of my co worker and friends came out to support the fight. Most have never been involved in anything like this and were amazed at the stories they heard of why people walk. I told my story to everyone I could, even complete strangers. There were plenty of tears shed and hugs given and received.
I had no idea when I first signed up to form a team that it would become what it did. So many showing their support by either coming out to walk or making a donation to the cause. Even though I wasn't allowed to do any type of fundraising at work, the team managed to raise over $1600. I'll double that next year!
Thank you to everyone!!!!!!! Together we can make a difference.
In Honor of...
My Grandmother, Silly Illy, 2 time breast cancer survivor
My brother, Rod kidney cancer
Gail, breast cancer
Jodi, breast cancer
In Memory of...
My Grandfather, Honey Bear, lung cancer
Lucy, breast cancer
Jane, breast cancer
In support of...
Fran
Irene
Mia, only 15 months old and fighting the battle
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Look out...it's been a BAD week
First off...if you are reading this and we happen to work together, PLEASE PLEASE don't ever mention to anyone about my blog site or what I write in here. As I know this is not a private site, I don't care to share with most that I have it.
I'm in utter disbelief and disgust that a very large company who is the major sponsor of a big upcoming event will send a company wide email and flyers asking you to volunteer, form a team, get involved, support, fund-raise, ect... then tell you "sorry you are unable to sell things/solicitdonations for this cause at work or on the premises," we can only do fund-raising for **** in the office. WTF!!!!! Are you kidding me?!?!? Your sponsoring this event! If my memory serves me correctly, you asked us to do this. Hmmmm....and how is it that other departments of the same company are allowed to fund-raise but we are not allowed to do ANYTHING??? The WHOLE company is the sponsor of this event. UGH!!!!! I volunteered. I formed a team. I am involved. I TOTALLY support the cause. Please give my team and I the opportunity to raise money for the event that you are sponsoring. I have 32 people on my team and we have raised over $1100 on our own. Imagine what we could have done with your support.
Moving on...
I've had so many feelings/thoughts passing through my head and my heart lately it's incredible. I'm exhausted. This week was especially difficult on me. I've even had to take a day and a half off work to try to get a grip on things. I have this really bad habit of not telling people things if I fear it will hurt them, make them angry, or make them feel bad or guilty in anyway. I will do just about anything to avoid all of that but I'm holding something now that is just eating away at me. As I want to protect ones feelings, I don't like what I'm having to go through with my ownfeelings about all this. I kinda feel like they do have the right to know but I just can't bringmyself to tell them. It's killing me inside. I can't sleep. I lie awake for hours in the middle of the night just thinking and tying to figure out if I'm doing/done the right thing. Do I just continue to keep my mouth shut and just deal with it or should I let tell them? I'll probably just do as I always do and keep my mouth shut.
Enough about that. Next...
Don't try to scare me with useless threats...it doesn't work anymore. Just leave me alone.
And to top it off...
My teeth are killing me tonight! I've GOT to stop eating ice!
Time for another serving of Pizookie then off to toss and turn for the night.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Good News!
Took Nate in Monday for another MRI. Ugh poor kid. He was stuck laying there in that loud as Hell, enclosed tube for over an hour. It took so long because they imaged from his brain down all the way down his spine. Guess if you have to do it, all at once is the best. He was pretty upset cause they lady kept telling him not to swallow. Try that...laying on your back for an hour and not swallowing, yeah not. Anyway, we went in for the follow-up visit with the Neurosurgeon today. She reviewed the MRI films from Sept and the ones from yesterday and had only positive things to say. The Chiara is still there but is no longer being labeled as abnormal. It has shrunk quite a bit lessoning the pressure on his spinal cord and his brain stem. YAY!!! That's what we were hoping to hear. She also said that there is NO build up of any spinal fluid anywhere! There is no need for the surgery at this time! WOO HOO!!! Couldn't have asked for better news. One less thing to worry about now. He still get the headaches but no where near as bad. We'll still follow up with the Neurologist to see if he will need to continue the meds or if we will be able to ween him off of them.
My Climb to Conquer Cancer team is increasing daily and there is still 30 days left to sign up! I'm so excited. I thought I would only get a handful of people to sign up and walk. My team, Logan's Heroes is now up to 26 walkers and new people are signing up everyday. I'm trying to get approval on some fund-raising ideas for work, so far we have raised $585.00. Look out for a donation letter coming your way soon ;-)
I finally did it! I got my first (and probably only) tattoo!! Bet ya can't guess what it is??? I got a pink ribbon just above my right ankle. It's only about an inch and a half tall but perfect for what I wanted. The kids went with me to watch (and to take pictures so they could laugh at me later) I think they have now decided that they won't be getting any tattoos for themselves. They asked if it hurt and I responded to Nate by saying " you couldn't figure that out when I grabbed your jacket and looked at you with the "OMG I'm dying here look?" YEAH it hurt!!! That's OK, I'm glad I finally did it.
I have more to write but it's getting late and I have a huge day tomorrow Time for bed. Night all.
Friday, January 16, 2009
A New Year...
Well its the middle of January and I haven't written anything since Christmas. Think I'm past due. I'm quite sure it will be all over the place and not make much sense because my mind is working overtime right now.
I spent New Years not really the way I had wanted but I had a good time. I'm glad to have been able to put 2008 behind me and start a fresh new year. It seems to be starting off a little bumpy right now but I'm excited to see what the future holds for me.
The kids and I are adjusting well to our new lives. I've always been close with them but our recent changes seem to have brought us together even more. They are the best! School has started back up. Between school and work, our schedules don't work out the best. There are sometimes I feel I haven't seen them in days.
Nate had to have a root canal the other day. The dentist gave him the same pills they gave me to sedate him. HAHAHAH...who's making fun of who now! Both the kids had a blast at my expensewhen I was all drugged up. Telling me all about the crazy things I was saying and doing. I got to get Nate back this time. He was sooooooo funny. Seeing dragons fighting and eating each other, thinking there are random chairs or people moving around, not remembering how he got home and got into bed. I guess you just had to be there to get the full picture but OMG it was so funny.
I haven't been feeling to good lately. I've lost quite a bit of weight since July. 19lbs... That is just way to much for me to lose. I'm to skinny as is. I'm back up 5 pounds now so that's good. Hoping the weight lose is just due to all the stress I've been under and I'll be able to gain it all back soon. I did end up going to the Dr. You know how I am with all the breast cancer stuff. I do my monthly exams religiously. This month I found a lump. Thankfully, my Dr. was able to get my referal submited and approved the same day I saw him and I was able to get in the following day for an ultrasound and a mamogram. I'm so glad they called back so quickly with the results I would have been even more of a basketcase then I already was. Everything turned out to be benign. Thank goodness!!! I didn't tell anyone (well one person) what was going on because I didn't want to have anyone worrying and it is pretty personal stuff ya know, but then I got to thinking...cancer can strike anyone at anytime. What have I been doing for the last 2 1/2 years? Trying to raise awareness for exactly this! I haven't been running around telling everyone my personal stuff but I have had several people tell me I reminded them it's that time again or that they really should pay better attention and do the monthly exams and get checked by the Dr regulary.
That leads me to my next journey. I'm getting ready for another walk. Climb to Conquer Cancer. It's a 5.5 mile hike up South Mountain. (ha then you got to walk back down...or at least I will be =-) This will be the 4th year I've particapated in this one. I decieded to form my own team this year. Logan's Heroes (thanks Remo) I soooooo love the team name! (so does everyone else) I have about 5 people signed up as of now with quite a few more joining soon. I'm really excited about getting back out there and doin some walkin. Also working on getting the center I work for involved for some fundraising. I'll let you know how it all turns out.
I hate health insurance companys!!!!!! I'll try to make this the short version. (trust me I could REALLY go off on this one) anyway... So Nate was scheduled for his follow up visit with the neruosurgeon Jan. 6th. Two days before his appointment, I get a bill for $280.00 WHAT?!?!? It was a 20 min. office visit. You've GOT to be kidding right? Nope. My ins. company says the surgeon isn't covered by my plan. I called and talked to the lady at the Dr office to figure out what was going on. Turns out that the Dr wasn't contracted with the insurance till November. We had to move our appointment up from Dec. to Sept. after we had the emergecy room visit per Dr's orders. The Dr's office is going to try to try to get the claim to go thru and I'm going to appeal it. We'll just have to wait and see what happens. In the meantime though, I've had to change his appointment 3 times while we try to get this straightened out. We want to be sure that he will be covered or I'll have to find another Dr and start this whole thing over which I REALLY don't want to do. He is feeling pretty good these days. I do think the meds are helping. He still has his headaches, he's not had any really, really bad ones with all the crazy side effects thank goodness.
Opps....think this one got away from me tonight. It's after 1am...I'm so tired, been working a lot of overtime again. Keeps me busy I guess and not bad for the pocketbook either.
Wishing you all well,
~Terri~
Thursday, December 25, 2008
What a wonderful day
I'll admit I wasn't looking forward to Christmas at all this year. I thought it would be a tough one with the divorce and the passing of my Grandpa. I didn't put up our tree, no outside lights, no sending of the Christmas cards ...nothing. Instead I bought this silly little 2ft thing that half looked like a bush. It was a little package deal that came with a strand of lights and 12 funky looking little wooden ornaments. Took us about a week after I bought it to even decorate it with that. It wasn't until last weekend when I went to Zoolights that I had any desire to get into the holiday spirit. The lights, the carols, the family's spending time together...
Thats my favorite thing about Christmas. Spending time with all of my family. Laughing, joking, cooking, eating, and occasionally punching one of my brothers lol! I don't need presents. I just want to spend good quality time with family. I'm very close with my Grandma and Mom and Dad but really only see my brothers on the holidays. I treasure the time we share together. Its alway s blast.
Our Christmas started out last night with the traditional baking of the cookies for Santa. Ashly, Nate and I made about 3 dozen. Guess they think Santa needs to gain a little more weight. About 11 I decided I couldn't stay up any longer and wait for them to go to bed before I put the Santa presents out. I sent them to their rooms and told them not to go out snooping. Yeah right lol!
We got up early this morning and had our little opening of the presents. We didn't have much because we had agreed we would do just one gift for each person. It was perfect. More thought went into what that one gift would be instead of getting a bunch of stuff no one will use.
We headed over to Mom's about 11. Oh how I love walking into the house and smelling all that food cooking. Yummy! What a feast! There was 15 of us there this year. Smaller group then usual but plenty of tummy's to fill. After all the food is gone and dishes are done, Mom does just a few presents she picked up here and there. We really don't have any small children to do presents for now and with the amount of people we have there for Christmas we would go broke trying to buy for everyone. My family has a new tradition that we have done the last 4-5 years. Someone gets "picked on" for Christmas. Around Thanksgiving we figure out who we want to "pick on". Last year it was my Mom. She had seen a gold Xmas tree in a store and wanted to do one of hers in all gold. Everyone that was there last year brought her a present that had some type of gold ornament or decoration that she could put on her tree. The gifts she got last year sure did look beautiful on her tree this year. It's something she will treasure for years to come. Each one of her kids, grandkids, and other family members have something on her tree.
Guess who the decided to "pick on" this year? Me. I had no idea because they told me it was going to be someone else. I was very surprised. Bet you can't guess what the theme was for my gifts...pink stuff! If you know me, you know I have this slight obsession for pink things and anything with a pink ribbon on it. Well I got all sorts of cool pink stuff. Candles, perfume, lotions, hats, scarfs, a robe, pillows, a pink chair...heck to much to list. I even got a pink can opener and some pink rubbermaid food storage containers. It was so much fun opening all the presents. I'm not big on getting a bunch of gifts but this was really something special for me. Really made what I had thought would be a pretty crappy Christmas turn in to one that I will never forget.
I hope Santa was as good to you all as he was to me. Merry Christmas everyone!
Thats my favorite thing about Christmas. Spending time with all of my family. Laughing, joking, cooking, eating, and occasionally punching one of my brothers lol! I don't need presents. I just want to spend good quality time with family. I'm very close with my Grandma and Mom and Dad but really only see my brothers on the holidays. I treasure the time we share together. Its alway s blast.
Our Christmas started out last night with the traditional baking of the cookies for Santa. Ashly, Nate and I made about 3 dozen. Guess they think Santa needs to gain a little more weight. About 11 I decided I couldn't stay up any longer and wait for them to go to bed before I put the Santa presents out. I sent them to their rooms and told them not to go out snooping. Yeah right lol!
We got up early this morning and had our little opening of the presents. We didn't have much because we had agreed we would do just one gift for each person. It was perfect. More thought went into what that one gift would be instead of getting a bunch of stuff no one will use.
We headed over to Mom's about 11. Oh how I love walking into the house and smelling all that food cooking. Yummy! What a feast! There was 15 of us there this year. Smaller group then usual but plenty of tummy's to fill. After all the food is gone and dishes are done, Mom does just a few presents she picked up here and there. We really don't have any small children to do presents for now and with the amount of people we have there for Christmas we would go broke trying to buy for everyone. My family has a new tradition that we have done the last 4-5 years. Someone gets "picked on" for Christmas. Around Thanksgiving we figure out who we want to "pick on". Last year it was my Mom. She had seen a gold Xmas tree in a store and wanted to do one of hers in all gold. Everyone that was there last year brought her a present that had some type of gold ornament or decoration that she could put on her tree. The gifts she got last year sure did look beautiful on her tree this year. It's something she will treasure for years to come. Each one of her kids, grandkids, and other family members have something on her tree.
Guess who the decided to "pick on" this year? Me. I had no idea because they told me it was going to be someone else. I was very surprised. Bet you can't guess what the theme was for my gifts...pink stuff! If you know me, you know I have this slight obsession for pink things and anything with a pink ribbon on it. Well I got all sorts of cool pink stuff. Candles, perfume, lotions, hats, scarfs, a robe, pillows, a pink chair...heck to much to list. I even got a pink can opener and some pink rubbermaid food storage containers. It was so much fun opening all the presents. I'm not big on getting a bunch of gifts but this was really something special for me. Really made what I had thought would be a pretty crappy Christmas turn in to one that I will never forget.
I hope Santa was as good to you all as he was to me. Merry Christmas everyone!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Thought this day would never come...
I'm DIVORCED!!!!!!!
I came home tonight to find the self addressed, stamped envelope that I had to provide along with all the final paperwork to the courts a week and a half ago, sitting on the coffee table. My heart stopped. I dropped everything in the middle of the floor. Wait...I thought it was going to be 4-6 weeks, she said 4-6 weeks, and that is if I didn't make any mistakes??? Remember, I did all the paperwork and filing all by myself, no help from a attorney or anyone else for that matter. She said I would receive a letter stating any mistakes I made not the envelope. Crap, what could I have missed? I rip open the envelope and pull out the papers. By now I'm shaking so bad I could hardly flip through the papers. I see signatures and dates where there weren't any before... Could this be it?!?!? Is it done?!?!?
I looked through all the papers over and over, this can't be right, she said 4-6 weeks, its only been 11 days and that includes the weekends "Is this it? Is this it" I'm asking the kids...like they know. It's got to be! See the signatures? This IS it! ITS DONE!!!!! I'm running through the house jumping up and down with papers in hand trying to find the phone to call my Mom. No one answers. I try my Dads cell, go figure no answer there either. I know they are out to dinner with my brother celebrating his birthday so I call his cell. Finally get to talk to my Mom. I'm crying by now, (happy tears) I just can't believe this day is finally here.
I have been through Hell and back over the last 21 years. Not all of it was bad but it took so much out of me and so much away from me I only wish I would have had the guts to have done this sooner. I'm a much happier person now. So are the kids.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Ok so I still haven't got this blogging thing down yet but I was reading the post I did back in September, " Realizations" and it made me stop and think how much things have changed for me in such a short time. I'm truly a much happier person and my thoughts have changed on a lot of things so I decided to do it again just to see what my answers to these questions are today.
Realizations
- could be bigger but I'm OK with them. LOL!I've come to realize that my boobs..*today* they haven't grown any in the last 2 months and I'm still ok with them lol
- I've come to realize that my job...
- is more and more demanding everyday.
*today* needs to help me transfer out of that building and QUICK!
3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving....
there may be a reason I'm behind that slow driver.
*today* I have places to go, things to do, and people to see
4. I've come to realize that I need...- to find myself
*today* I need to get out more
5. I've come to realize that my heart...
is in the right spot.- *today* it's still in the right spot
6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...
I have to be the middleman. - *today*I have to deal with the soon to be EX for any reason!
7. I've come to realize that when I'm drunk...
I like to play games like Mad Gab with great friends in Vegas. - *today* ha ha ha get me drunk and find out.
8. I've come to realize that money...
doesn't make you happy.
*today* is nice but still doesn't make you happy
9. I've come to realize that certain people...
will never grow up- *today*
10. I've come to realize that I'll never be...
perfect and thats OK, I don't want to be!
** I still don't want to be perfect and thats ok by me. I am who I am.
11. I've come to realize drugs....
are such a waste- *today*same answer
12. I've come to realize that my boyfriend...
hmmmm don't have one - *today* welllll...I'll have to get back to you on that one in a few months
13. I've come to realize that my cell phone ...
is my lifeline- *today* has a VERY good battery LOL!
14. I've come to realize when i woke up this morning....
I need more sleep.
*today* I should have gotten up eariler
15. I've come to realize that last night before i went to sleep...
I have SO much going on I can't handle much more...- *today* I was smiling when I snuggled in to my blankies
16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about...
that same sh*t...
*today* lots of good things
17. I've come to realize that when I get on Myspace...
I hope to see all of my friends still here.- *today* Will there be a message or comment???
18. I've come to realize that yesterday...
was rough but I got thru it - ** so much fun baking with my girlfriends ALL day!
19. I've come to realize that today ...
was ok
**was an incredibly amazing day!!!!!
20. I've come to realize that tonight...
didn't go as bad as I thought it would- **was quiet
21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will...
start it all over again with a smile
**be stuck at work all day...bummer
22. I've come to realize that I really want to...
be happy and just be me- **enjoy life everyday
24. I've come to realize that i love...
LIFE...minus the crap I'm having to deal with right now
** being FREE to do what I want, when I want
25. I've come to realize that this weekend...
should be fun...yard sale to benefit The 3-Day and might go jet skiing with my brothers FUN!
** has truly been the best one in a VERY long time!
26. I've realized the best music to listen to when i am upset ...
Avenue Q soundtrack....track # 13
**still blast it when I'm pissed
27. I've come to realize that some friends...
will always be there for me
**will stay by your side and support you no matter what.- 28. I've come to realize that this year...
- has been challenging, stressful, crazy, sad, and full of change, but the year isn't over...I'm expecting happiness, growth, strength and serenity,
**is almost over and I'm very much looking forward to 2009 and a fresh start!
29. I've come to realize that my next tattoo will be...
my only tattoo will be a pink ribbon above my ankle..
** same and I'm going to do it real soon
30. I've come to realize that my family..
is absolutely incredible!!!!- ** and very supportive and understanding
Sorry about all the stupid numbers but to sleepy to worry with them!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
It's chilly and raining today!!! Woo hoo... Its been a long time since we've had rain so it's quite a nice change. Add the fact that I actually got off at a decent time I was able to enjoy it...makes for something to celebrate. Should go curl up and watch a movie but I'd just fall asleep so I thought I'd write a bit instead.
Things have been settling down a bit. I think I'm on the uphill road to peace and sanity. HA! 5 months ago I didn't even know those things existed. I'm happy...get a little lonely sometimes but I'm happy.
The 60 day "cooling off" period for the divorce ends 12-6...you can bet my ass will be at the courthouse on Monday the 8th to file the next blob of paperwork. I'll tell ya, doing this without an atty is tough but I'm getting it done. (and saving a hell of a lot of money) Hell, maybe I'll take on preparing divorce papers as a second job and make a few extra bucks lol.
Nate seems to be doing somewhat better these days. He still has the really bad headaches but they don't seem to be happening so often and the daily ones are much more tolerable. Hopefully the meds are working well enough and we can rule out surgery. I'll keep you updated, going back to the neurosurgeon on Dec 2nd.
It's Thanksgiving... I'm looking forward to spending the day at Moms...cooking and hanging out with my family. I, again have so much to be thankful for this year...my family, friends, health, house, job, the list goes on and on. I'd go into some detail but I'm not planning on getting all teary eyed tonight.
It's late, I'm sleepy, and if I don't post this now you might not see it till Christmas. I wish you all a very safe and Happy Thanksgiving.
Love and hugs to all,
~Terri~
Things have been settling down a bit. I think I'm on the uphill road to peace and sanity. HA! 5 months ago I didn't even know those things existed. I'm happy...get a little lonely sometimes but I'm happy.
The 60 day "cooling off" period for the divorce ends 12-6...you can bet my ass will be at the courthouse on Monday the 8th to file the next blob of paperwork. I'll tell ya, doing this without an atty is tough but I'm getting it done. (and saving a hell of a lot of money) Hell, maybe I'll take on preparing divorce papers as a second job and make a few extra bucks lol.
Nate seems to be doing somewhat better these days. He still has the really bad headaches but they don't seem to be happening so often and the daily ones are much more tolerable. Hopefully the meds are working well enough and we can rule out surgery. I'll keep you updated, going back to the neurosurgeon on Dec 2nd.
It's Thanksgiving... I'm looking forward to spending the day at Moms...cooking and hanging out with my family. I, again have so much to be thankful for this year...my family, friends, health, house, job, the list goes on and on. I'd go into some detail but I'm not planning on getting all teary eyed tonight.
It's late, I'm sleepy, and if I don't post this now you might not see it till Christmas. I wish you all a very safe and Happy Thanksgiving.
Love and hugs to all,
~Terri~
Sunday, November 23, 2008
I'm happy to say I had another GREAT experience walking in the Breast Cancer 3-Day here in AZ last weekend. All 60 miles walked and not one blister!!! Did mess up my knee a bit but nothing that won't heal.
Thought I would give you a quick run down on the event.
Day 1… It all began on Friday morning with Opening ceremonies out at Freestone Park in Gilbert. Even thou it was very early and pretty darn cold out there, everyone was super pumped up and ready to walk! We walked through the Islands of Gilbert and down the city streets. The community welcomed us with open arms, including school children that stuck there little hands out through the playground fence to give us "high fives" and tell us to "keep walkin" and "your doing great". After a long day of walking, we made it to "camp" which was at Benedict Park in Tempe. A nice hot shower, (in a mobile shower truck) and a yummy spaghetti dinner were waiting there for us. We stopped at the "Camp Post Office" and picked up our cards and letters from friends and family. Took them back to our pretty pink tent, crawled into a nice cozy sleeping bag and read our letters from home. Thank you to all who sent me a letter or a card. After reading the cards and getting all emotional AGAIN, we were ready to pass out for the night. Lights out 9pm.
Day 2…Saturday morning started bright and early. Up at 4:15, had a huge breakfast, and was ready to walk when the route opened at 7am. We walked through the community of Guadalupe, the foothills of Ahwatukee, South Mountain Park and other parts of Phoenix. There were several "cheering stations" along the route to keep our spirits up. It is amazing to see all the people who come out to cheer us on. Family that has made signs to show their support, people dressed up in silly outfits, seeing the same car driving by who knows how many times during the day just honking, and waving and Walker Stalkers who just seem to be there every time you turn around. We worked our way back to Tempe and Benedict Park to our pretty little pink tents we call home for the weekend. Had a great dinner and enjoyed some of the entertainment. We spent the rest of the evening roaming the camp. They have a few tents set up so you can shop for 3-day stuff, get a foot massage, send post cards from camp, play bingo, and sign up for next year…which I did so be prepared, I'm already to do it again!!!! They also had a web cam set up which was really cool. I didn't even know about it till Nate called and told me. No voice but he could see me there. Pretty neat! I'll have to remember that for next year. Enjoyed the last of the evening taking goofy pictures of my toe socks and sharing some great laughs with my old and new friends. Lights out early again. (thank goodness!!)
Day 3…Sunday starts out early and bittersweet. Your so excited to make it thru the day and be able to say "I did it" but sad because the 3-Day is coming to an end. That's when you tell yourself, the 3-Day may be over but my fight in finding the cure is not! I will not stop till a cure is found! So finish this walk and get started on next year.
Our route Sunday took us through Arizona State University, Papago Park, Desert Botanical Garden, and Old Town Scottsdale. Absolutely beautiful to walk thru all of those places. The weather was perfect for us! About 84. So many people came out again to the cheering stations to cheer us on during our final miles. The day seemed to go by so quickly. Bobbye and I got to holding at about 1:45. Our families were there waiting to watch us walk over the finish line into the holding area. The holding area is where we all hang out and wait for everyone to complete the route then line up for our victory walk into the closing ceremony. The final victory walk took us into Scottsdale Stadium where thousands of people were there to welcome us. Closing ceremony was very powerful and emotional as expected. Doubt there was I dry eye in the house, I know I went thru my share of tissues. I truly can not find the right words to describe what an amazing sight it is to watch over 2100 people walking together into this huge stadium and the incredibly overwhelming emotion that hits you when all survivors walk thru and the walkers and crew all hold up one of their shoes in honor of them. Ugh…pass the tissues again. It's something so powerful it will stay with you forever. If you ever have the opportunity to witness any part of the 3-Day, I hope you will.
Ok so this turned out a bit longer then I expected but oh well. I have just more think I'd like to add… I'd like to thank all my friends and family for the incredible amount of support that you all have given me. Whether it was through a monetary donation, purchasing shirts or cookbooks or just telling me how much you support me, I could not have done it without all of you! Your support thru this all means so much to me. Special thanks to Ashly, Nate, Bekah,and my Mommy and Daddy. Thank you guys for being at every one of the cheering stations to support not only me, but my fellow team members and all of the other walkers. We needed you there to cheer us on and you did! I also want to send an extra special thank you to my wonderful kids Ashly and Nate. You two are truly the worlds best!!! Thank you for all you have done to support me. Everything from your positive attitudes, dealing with my obsession for pink thing that are all over the house, telling me I better get out there and walk, and best of all…surprising me by decorating my car windows and filling the inside with all the pink balloons and streamers while I was at dinner. That right there was one of the best memories I will have this year. Oh but, if you guys ever decide to move my car and make me think some one stole it…you will be grounded till your 30!!!!! I love you two so much!!!!! Thanks again for being there for me!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Realizations
- could be bigger but I'm OK with them. LOL!I've come to realize that my boobs..
- I've come to realize that my job...
- is more and more demanding everyday.
3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving....
there may be a reason I'm behind that slow driver.
4. I've come to realize that I need...
to find myself
5. I've come to realize that my heart...
is in the right spot.
6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...
I have to be the middleman.
7. I've come to realize that when I'm drunk...
I like to play games like Mad Gab with great friends in Vegas.
8. I've come to realize that money...
doesn't make you happy.
9. I've come to realize that certain people...
will never grow up
10. I've come to realize that I'll never be...
perfect and thats OK, I don't want to be!
11. I've come to realize drugs....
are such a waste
12. I've come to realize that my boyfriend...
hmmmm don't have one
13. I've come to realize that my cell phone ...
is my lifeline
14. I've come to realize when i woke up this morning....
I need more sleep.
15. I've come to realize that last night before i went to sleep...
I have SO much going on I can't handle much more...
16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about...
that same sh*t...
17. I've come to realize that when I get on Myspace...
I hope to see all of my friends still here.
18. I've come to realize that yesterday...
was rough but I got thru it
19. I've come to realize that today ...
was ok
20. I've come to realize that tonight...
didn't go as bad as I thought it would
21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will...
start it all over again with a smile
22. I've come to realize that I really want to...
be happy and just be me
23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this...
who knows
24. I've come to realize that i love...
LIFE...minus the crap I'm having to deal with right now
25. I've come to realize that this weekend...
should be fun...yard sale to benefit The 3-Day and might go jet skiing with my brothers FUN!
26. I've realized the best music to listen to when i am upset ...
Avenue Q soundtrack....track # 13
27. I've come to realize that some friends...
will always be there for me
28. I've come to realize that this year...
has been challenging, stressful, crazy, sad, and full of change, but the year isn't over...I'm expecting happiness, growth, strength and serenity,
29. I've come to realize that my next tattoo will be...
my only tattoo will be a pink ribbon above my ankle..
30. I've come to realize that my family..
is absolutely incredible!!!!
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